Finished - Changing Course

Having finished Changing Course, I can now honestly say that it is a must-read for couples embarking, or even thinking on embarking upon the journey which I am now on. It really helped me to put things into perspective. To put this decision into the big picture of our relationship and our life's journey. Debra hammers this point home: Moving aboard is no fix for a bad relationship, and the decisions made along the way should be mutual. If you have problems on land, they will only be emphasized on sea.

There are many benefits to be had, and the majority of the go-along-with-it partners that Debra interviewed are glad they went along with it. Even though this only happens to a minority, I am surprised at the number of times I've read that couples break up over this - one ends up determining that he or she would rather be married to the boat than the spouse. She uses the term "partner" a lot - and it bothered me. Is my close loving wonderful husband just my "partner"? Sounds like we're running a business here. But further along into the book, it began to sink in. There are many marraiges who do not treat their marraiges like a partnership - one half drags the other into this sort of decision. If you are a reader, but your "initiating partner" is not, then if nothing else, have him or her read the chapter "to the initiating partner". It is full of valuable advice and information on how to help the more hesitant partner get excited and involved in the process.

Also, have an exit strategy. This book caused me to ask the question - how exactly are we going to go about this? I know nothing about living on a boat or how to make this sort of transistion. Being the contemplative planner, this was all very overwhelming to me. We sat down and came up with to-do lists and a plan of attack.

I walked away from this book realizing that we were going about this really well. Our relationship is more important than this adventure, and I realized just how healthy our relationship is. We are going through this together. My input is valued, and I am not being drug into this. I realize that I could easily crush this - put my foot down and say no way, no how, you're crazy! But as off the beaten path as this may be, I realize there is probably much to be gained in this for me - even if I don't know what it is yet. I want my husband to be happy and to pursue his dreams. I would rather participate in his dreams and goals than be the sole force holding him back from them. And knowing that he would rather stay with me than chase his dreams gives me a greater sense of security.